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Friday, 7 August 2015

Triple Sec

I used to play with a guy they called Triple Sec.  He got the name after he went on a golf trip with some guys to Myrtle Beach.

On the trip, Triple Sec became identified as a real cheapskate.  He watched every penny, despite the fact that, of all the guys on the trip, he probably had the most money; and he was obviously bent on keeping it.  The Triple Sec handle was earned because he drank Triple Sec, while his fellow travellers drank beer, or some other "man's drink."  And, the concensus was that he drank it because he didn't want to have to share any of his booze, and he was pretty sure that his buddies, if they ran out, weren't going to come looking for his stash.

Triple Sec was about a ten handicap.  He played a reasonably good game, but took himself way too seriously on the golf course.  He tended to think he was better than he really was.  As a result, he didn't enjoy his golf the way he might have.

My last round with him, Triple Sec got off to a fast start and found himself one under at the turn.  I was off to my usual slow start and was three or four shots back.  On the tenth tee, just before he teed off, I asked Triple Sec if he could hear them.

He looked at me rather quizzically.

I said, "Can you hear them?"

He said, "Hear what?"

I said, "The footsteps.  They're mine, and I'm coming to get ya."

I like to play with guys who like to joke around a bit on the golf course.  Clearly, by the look on Triple Sec's face, he didn't find my comment very amusing.  He was having a good round, and he was very serious about finishing it off in style; maybe even shooting his career round.  I really shouldn't have said anything, but I really was only having fun.

Sure enough, by sixteen, Triple Sec had spit the proverbial bit, made several "dreaded others," and I was in a commanding lead.  He was furious, and unceremoniously grabbed his bag and walked to the house.  It was the last time I played with him.

I've since moved on to another course.  I never see or hear about Triple Sec.  I hope he doesn't hold it against me for messing up his potential career round.  He was a pretty good guy, even if they say he was so tight that he squeaked.  I must say, though, there really is nothing worse than a cheapskate, except maybe someone who takes himself too seriously on the golf course.